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My Soul Cries Out
O'My soul cries out to see
Your graceful stride upon a steed
Pulling reins upon your mount
Saddling up and riding out
But Heaven has you in its fold
No pavement on those streets of gold
No more sickness, no more pain
No saddle when you hold his mane
Riding bareback you do glide
Heavens fields are open wide
Freedom is your home at last
Away from all the hurts of past
My heart is selfish to want you back
Without your beauty the Heavens lack
For you there is no better course
Than freedoms ride upon a horse
O'Heart does see and soul does know
It's time for me to let you go
But if I had just one more wish
T'would be to give you one last kiss
Journal
Friday, May 13, 2005 4:20 AM CDT Dear Family & Friends...
One year ago today our little girl, Allie, became an Angel or according to Luke...the brightest star in the sky...
We wanted to write and thank every one for their continued emotional support through phone calls, cards, visits and emails. It has been a very painful year full of change for the Miller's.
You probably all remember us getting evicted from the farm house that we had rented in Warrenton, VA one week after Allie's funeral...ironically we stumbled across our dream house due to a very persistent Realtor and moved in last July.
That same month we answered a "free to a good home" ad and acquired Matty (a golden retriever) to keep Mocha (our yellow lab) company. At the time, we had Rocky, Windy, Blizzard and Simba (Allie's horses) who needed housing. Our new "neigh"bors were kind enough to let us keep them in their paddock until we could afford fencing on our own property.
Getting through Allie's November birthday, Christmas and the New Year were especially hard.
Right after the New Year we were able to afford horse fencing and a shelter for the horses, so we moved them over to our property.
January 3, I started a new job selling advertising for a local magazine...it was weird going back to work...it had been almost 5 years since my last job...but I thought it would be good to stay busy and help to support my horse habit (addiction...LOL).
In February, we flew to Florida for the satellite launch that was dedicated to Allie...it was an amazing experience, one that we (Luke included) will never forget.
Later that same month I bought my very own horse...Levi...a 5 year old Quarter Horse...he's great and with a little training he'll be perfect for me.
February 28 was a very sad day for us...Allie's buddy Chris Becker lost his 5 1/2 year battle to cancer...he was 11 just like Allie...we felt like we were reliving Allie's passing all over again.
In March I answered another one of those "free to a good home" ads and found an 8 year old Quarter Horse for Mike...his name is Aggie. The owners had him for a year, never rode him and just wanted to find him a good home.
In April I stumbled across the cutest little miniature horse that I thought would be perfect for visiting sick kids in the hospital...she was little (only 30 inches tall), young, calm and loved kids. I brought Mike and Luke out to see her and we all agreed that she was perfect! We brought her home last weekend and she has been a joy to all of us. She has so much of Allie's spirit it is amazing...she is funny, spunky, stubborn, smart, sweet, bossy and adorable! It is the first time we've seen Luke really excited about horses. We named her Pixie...for Allie's love of fairies. We hope to start a program called "Healing Hoofbeats" where we take her into hospital rooms to visit kids. They currently have a pet therapy program where they bring in dogs...Allie always thought it would be cooler if they brought in a horse...so this will be my next project.
Mother's Day was especially hard...it was the last day (last year) that Allie was alert and conscious. Allie always went out of her way to make every holiday so incredibly special.
Luke is growing way too fast, he's playing soccer, taking tennis lessons and missing his big sister. He talks about her every day...he often asks Mike if he would "go up and get her and bring her back down." or he'll just shout, out of the blue..."I want Allie down!" It always brings tears to our eyes, she was an amazing big sister.
I guess the hardest thing we've had to deal with is meeting new people who never knew Allie and what an amazing child she was...we just want so much to hold on to the wonderful memories that she left us with and making new ones without her just aren't the same.
The old saying, "Time will heal" is not true...we still miss Allie more than you can imagine. When Allie was first diagnosed back in Norfolk, VA, the doctor said to us, "You're life will never be the same"...he was right...there is a permanent emptiness in our hearts. Fortunately we have some pretty special and amazing people in our life that just make it a little bit easier.
Thank you all...for everything!
Please feel free to visit Allie's caring bridge site and leave her a message...
www.caringbridge.org/va/allie
Love,
Lori, Mike, Luke and the critters...
(mocha, matty, rocky, blizzard, windy, simba, levi, aggie & pixie)
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