Dexter Scott Wattles

This is the story of Dexter

Dexter Scott Wattles was born June 1, 2003. He was a healthy 8 pounds, with blonde hair and brown eyes. Not long after he began to crawl, he began to have symptoms that were found to be from a brain tumor. The diagnosis was Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumor. A diagnosis that brought us to our knees. This past year has been quite a journey and a miraculous one indeed. Through chemotherapy, Stem cell Transplant and more surgeries than a multitude of people put together in a lifetime, would have to endure. And now, a second recurrence of the tumor. His will to survive is amazing. When I look at his precious smiling face, I know I am looking at the face of an angel.

Journal

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 12:13 AM CST

December 23, 2005 UPDATE:

I have added a special talk given by Dexter's Uncle Mark on "Eternal Families" after his Eulogy below.

*******To view a wonderful slide show and video of our Dexter, please click on the "Movie of Dexter" link in the "Links to Display" section at the bottom of this page.*******
(http://homepage.mac.com/laura.olson/iMovieTheater35.html)



DEXTER SCOTT WATTLES June 1, 2003 - November 18, 2005

Dexter's Funeral was held on November 22, 2005 in Salt Lake City, Utah. The service was a beautiful capturing of his wonderful life. Several family members spoke including His Grandpa Wattles, Grandpa Fullmer, Uncle Mark Wattles and Uncle Deric Wattles. Dexter's Aunt Laura made a special slide and movie presentation capturing some very precious moments in Dexter's life. I will post this slide show when I can. The following is the Eulogy written for him and a poem that was tearfully read by his loving Grandpa Wattles.

Kevin and Hanna, myself and our family would like to thank everyone reading Dexter's Journal of life. Your guestbook entries are so comforting especially in these difficult days of heartbreak and despair. We would like to thank all the Rhabdoid families that have given us so much support and information to help give Dexter the quality life that he had. Our lives are forever touched by an Angel. We love you, Dexter. We know that you are in Heaven waiting to be joined with your Mommy and Daddy. We know that Families can be together forever - this sustains us.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dexter Scott Wattles ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Face of an Angel ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dexter Scott Wattles was born June 1, 2003, in Corona, California, to his proud parents; Kevin Scott Wattles and Hanna Jean Wattles. He was perfect in every way. All his fingers and toes were there, but that didn’t matter - he was just beautiful. Those brown eyes, those round cheeks, those powty lips, that baby soft blonde hair – just beautiful! What a gift from God.

In March of 2004, when Dexter was just 9 months old, he wasn’t himself. This went on for many days. His parents began to grow more and more concerned. Why was he steadily getting worse? They took him to his doctor. When a few more days passed, he was admitted into the local hospital where he stayed for several days. The doctors there were baffled. Finally he was transferred to Loma Linda hospital where they did an MRI and found a large tumor in his brain. He was immediately transferred to Cedars Sinai Hospital. The journey ahead would prove to be insurmountable. A test far exceeding all others imaginable. This brought us to our knees more times than I can count. Many prayers and blessings followed.

Dexter’s life began to change. The needles and pokes began without ceasing. The machines and the surgeries, nurses and doctors became the norm for Dexter. After his first brain surgery, The diagnosis came - Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumor. Our lives changed once again as we frantically searched for information that would let us know how Dexter would do through the coming days ahead. 0-10 percent survival rate, is all we found through the hundreds of pages of research. The decision was made to take Dexter to Primary Children’s Medical Center which would come to be known as his home.

Dexter began his journey of survival. For Dexter, it began to be his everyday routine. He endured 14 surgeries and multiple trials. He was, by all outward appearances, a happy, healthy, growing and greatly loved little boy. Nothing stopped his unwavering strong spirit. Everyone was in amazement and awe as they watched him go through these (horrific trials). After the first surgery to remove the first tumor, Dexter began 5 months of chemotherapy that ended with a bone marrow transplant. This would ordinarily knock the life out of any baby, but not Dexter. He hardly showed the “near death” symptoms that the final round of chemotherapy should have rendered. Nurses and doctors found themselves drawn in by Dexter’s charm and amazing spirit. They stopped by all throughout the day just to spend an uplifting moment with him. If you needed a boost, you could go to Dexter’s hospital room for a “dose of Dexter”.

A couple of months after Dexter’s bone marrow transplant came the heart breaking news of a second tumor to the same area of his brain. The pain staking decision was made to do yet another brain surgery to remove this tumor. He had already beaten the odds! A second surgery was performed in November of 2004, just 8 months after the first tumor was found. This surgery was not without its complications. Hanna was so beside herself as she looked at her precious baby laying there and seeming to not be his self. She wondered if the surgery did something to his brain, to his personality, to his ability to know her. But - you know our Dexter - with time, he came back. There he was with all his smiles and bright eyes. After the second surgery though, his ability to talk was taken away a bit. The words that he said before, ____mama, dada, grama, grampa___ seemed to be gone. One of the chemo drugs was to blame for his hearing loss too. That didn’t stop Dexter. He began to sign for what he was trying to say. His balance was also affected, making him wobbly and off center. He would start off straight and then find himself side stepping to the left until he fell. Did that stop him, no. He worked on it and worked on it until he could actually run! Sometimes it was running to the left or to the right, but eventually he got there.

Dexter began radiation treatments to his brain and spine and then more chemo in his struggle for life. This was another amazing hurdle that Dexter seemed to sail through with hardly a side effect. He didn’t show it if he was struggling. Still the smile remained. The MRI to follow showed promise. Maybe the radiation worked!

In July of this year, Dexter had yet another discouraging MRI. It showed evidence of a third tumor in the same area once again. Why is this happening? You couldn’t tell. He looked so happy and healthy. It was decided that a third surgery would be devastating to his brain so another form of radiation would be tried again in October. Up until now, Dexter had really beaten all odds for survival and was still strong and fighting.

Dexter began to feel pain in his head and spine. A lumbar puncture was done, as it had been done many times before, to see if there were cancer cells in his spinal fluid. It came back positive. We knew what was to come! The pain grew worse and worse. Kevin and Hanna absolutely did not want Dexter to be in pain. He was put on morphine to fight the pain that he was now feeling after the radiation. When the efforts to ease his pain weren’t enough, Dexter was admitted into Primary Children’s Medical Center just last week. The doctors soon realized that he needed several times the amount of pain killer than he had previously been allowed. They did a CAT scan and saw numerous tumors spread across his brain along with extreme hydrocephalus and a painful tumor in his spine. No more pain sweet Dexter. No more pain. Dexter died peacefully at 4:30 p.m. Friday, November 18th, 2005. This was a very spiritual and sweet experience for Kevin and Hanna as they held their precious baby in their arms and gave him back to our Heavenly Father.

Dexter had an abundance of love surrounding him. He went more places and visited with more loved ones in his short time on Earth, than I could wish to do in a lifetime. He had his good days where he was able to go visit his grandma and grandpa in California and in Texas. He played in Park City. He played in Las Vegas. He played in California. He played in Texas. He played in Utah. He swam in pools for countless hours. He played in the bath tub for countless hours. He helped mommy plan weddings for his aunt and uncle. He went on countless walks with Mommy and Daddy around Temple Square. He played with cousins and friends, aunts and uncles. His Grandparents lived right above Dexter, so he could visit them any time he wanted. Even up until last week, after Grandma and Grandpa had not lived there since last March, Dexter would do his sign language, signing for Grandma and Grandpa and take his Daddy’s hand, lead him up the stairs, lift the mat and get the key. Dexter has impacted the lives of hundreds, even thousands that have had the chance to read about him. Most of all, he brought joy and happiness to everyone, making family bonds stronger than ever.

Dexter’s favorite things….. Pacifiers, skateboards, motorcycles, music, dancing, chocolate, singing, saying “I love you”, books, bikes and bike rides, cell phones, elmo, outside, bath tubs, swimming, blowing kisses, animals - like dogs and cats, monkeys and horses…along with all the sounds they make, Home, and most of all…Mom and Dad.


He was amazing! He was so happy, so very resilient, and especially charismatic! Dexter will be missed - for as long as we remain on this earth, waiting to be joined with him once again. We love you Dexter. We know that you are smiling, laughing and playing, and walking with our Heavenly Father who is taking care of you until we meet again. (Presented by Dexter's Grandpa Bruce E.Wattles, written by Dexter's Aunt Renee G. Bell)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Eternal Families~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daughter Megan who is 12 years old this week was singing the song families can be together forever last night with some of her cousins when suddenly she broke down in tears and ran up stairs. I went up to her and sat down and we had a little talk about Dexter. We talked about the pain and unhappiness we were feeling from our loss of someone we love so dearly. As our conversation progressed we began to talk about Dexter in the spirit world watching us and listening to us. What was he thinking? Is he happy or is he sad? We both decided he is happy and that made us happy to think about.

We’ll, where is Dexter? What is he doing? Why isn’t he here with us right now? Will we be with him again and will he be the same Dexter we all loved? We don’t know all the specifics behind the answers to these questions but we do know that Heavenly Father has answered many of them through his prophets over the course of history. These questions are what Kevin and Hanna have asked me to talk about.

Most of us in this room believe that we will return to live with our families in Heaven when we die. Why do we believe this? Why do we believe that we will be with our families together forever? Is it just a wish or a hope because it makes us feel good or is it truly part of God’s plan. I believe families were designed by God to be together forever. If this were not true then I would rather not live past the time I could be with my family.
But it is true. Families are meant to be forever together. Love is meant to be eternal. God wants us to be happy and our greatest potential for happiness is when we are with our family.

Yes, families are eternal.

What is a family? At its very core it is two people who love each other. A man and a woman. Man and Woman for eternity. Husband and wife, partners for eternity, responsible for raising the spirits that God shares with them. Their family. Their family for eternity. These children are their responsibility for eternity. My parents will be raising me, leading me and loving me for eternity. I will be raising, leading and loving my children for eternity. Kevin and Hanna will be raising, leading and loving Dexter for eternity.

Nothing anyone could say could make any of us wish any less that Dexter would have gotten well. Nothing I can say will keep us from missing Dexter or at times like this wishing time would go by faster. We miss Dexter. We will miss him until we see him again. And we will see him again. Kevin and Hanna, you will always be his parents. He will wait to be taught by you. Kevin, I believe you will have many father and son experiences with him. Hanna you will hold him again and he will hold you as only a child can hold you. To you it may seem like an eternity to wait to see him again but I believe that in the measurement of heavenly time and to him and it will be merely the blink of an eye before he sees you again. Life is eternal. You are his family. You will always be his family.

When Kevin and Hanna asked me to talk about the eternal nature of families I was immediately reminded of a conversation I had a couple months ago with Kevin. He and I had a lengthy discussion regarding the alternative courses of actions he and Hanna were considering for Dexter. Discussing the various alternatives required that we talked frankly about the probability of Dexter not living much longer. As I reflect on the calmness of our conversation it causes me to consider the difference in our feelings and emotions if we didn’t have the knowledge that we would be together again with our families. Kevin and Hanna were able to consider eternity in their decisions. What would be best for Dexter not just as the little boy that we all loved to hold and hug but as an eternal cousin, an eternal nephew, an eternal grandchild and an eternal child of Kevin and Hanna’s.

Because of Kevin’s understanding of eternal families, in all of my discussions with Kevin I rarely detected any sense of hopelessness. Rather always hope. Not just hope that Dexter would get well. But a firm belief that this was just one short piece of his eternal life that would ultimately lead to eternal happiness. Eternal happiness that includes the reunion and permanent accompaniment of those that we hold so near and dear to our hearts, our family

Families are forever.


Kevin and Hanna, if it is OK with you I want to talk for amount about Dexter. My son Nick who is on a mission in Hondurus spent quite a bit of time with Kevin, Hanna and Dexter in Orem prior to leaving on his mission.
He described Dexter as a one of a kind kid. He thought Dexter was the greatest kid to ever come to this earth. I didn’t really know Dexter at the time and it was hard for me to understand what all the fuss was about. I have since gotten to know Dexter and now feel qualified to agree in entirety with Nick’s description of Dexter. He is truly one of a kind. The kind of cousin that you would tell all your friends about. The kind of son that any of us would be totally jazzed about introducing to everyone.

I have come to the conclusion that some people are just special.
All of us are sent to this earth to grow and progress towards perfection. To become more like our heavenly father. We receive a body like our heavenly fathers, and we learn and progress through our experiences. I believe that every once in a while someone comes along who is very special. And while that special person can’t bypass the need for acquiring a body they don’t need the same experiences the rest of us do in order to progress, to become more like our father in heaven. These are very special people. Like Nick says….Dexter is one of those people.

I believe there are two primary reasons why we come to this earth. One is to become more like God the other is to help others in their effort to become more like God. We each have a responsibility to help each other. Dexter may have had only a short time on this earth but his second purpose, to help others become more like God will be served for generations. Dexter’s impact on his family will be felt for a long time. I have watched Kevin and Hanna’s love for each other become bound for eternity. Kevin and Hanna’s love and appreciation for their parents and family has discovered new heights. Their love for their child and future children and their perspective on eternity is unlike what anyone can understand who has not lost a child. They will be far better parents than they could have possibly become without Dexter’s help. Dexter’s brothers and sisters will reap the benefits of the growth that has occurred during these trials. We have all, every one of us in Dexter’s family, grown and been rewarded by the life of this child. I will be eternally grateful to Dexter for the closeness I feel to my parents and my family that have come as a result of my small participation in these trials. I will be eternally grateful to Dexter for the tender feelings I now have for my brother for his sweet wife. Because of Dexter I feel a little more love, a little more Godliness.
We have been taught that after we die we will continue our progression towards perfection with the same strengths and weaknesses, the same desires and interest. Our spirit and our personality doesn’t change. I believe that to be the case. I believe that we are basically the same in the hereafter. It’s funny, as I was thinking of Dexter and writing my thoughts for this talk, a scripture from the D & C came to my mind. “In my Father’s house are many mansions”. It kept on coming back to me. I think that this not only means that there are many varying degrees of reward and glory in the hereafter but that each mansion which is prepared for us is unique to us.
I suspect that we may even have some say in the design of our “Mansion”.
Now this may be blasmephys or at the very least irreverent but I couldn’t help finding myself wandering and daydreaming about the mansion that Dexter will design. I smiled as I envisioned a skate board pipe with gravity that could be turned on and off, a motocross track with endless jumps and plenty of mud, a wakeboard lake with no wind, and for when his Fulmer uncles visited him a never ending supply of working junk yard cars that could be used on the motocross track. Everyone would enter his mansion with a smile in anticipation of the time they would spend with Dexter.
There is no doubt that they would exit with an even bigger smile. In the hereafter we will all want to visit the Dexter mansion because we feel so much love when we are around him. You see Dexter is the combination two great families who with all their oddities and uniqueness have a great zest and love for life. Dexter is the child of two great people who love people.


I suspect that if Dexter had one last wish that he could share with us it would it would be for us to love each other and to do whatever we can to make life happier for as many people as we can. If I had to describe Dexter in a few simple words it would that Dexter is “a bundle full of happiness and love”.

Dexter I love you and I want to thank you for the joy you have brought to my life and for making me a better person.
(Written and presented by Dexter's Uncle Mark J. Wattles)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ God's Gift ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We give our loved ones back to God. And just as He first gave them to us and did not lose them in the giving, so we have not lost them in returning them to Him...for life is eternal, love is immortal, death is only a horizon...and a horizon is nothing but the limit of our earthly sight.



IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME



"If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye, For all my life,
I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss - come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
and since each days so beautiful,
There's no longing for the past.

We shall be together again sooner than you know,
I will be in my Heavenly Father’s arms
He needs me and so I need to go.
I’m right here in Heaven and here is where I’ll be
When you come here we’ll be together, cause we’re an eternal family.
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart "

Read Journal History

Hospital Information:

Primary Children's Medical Center

Salt Lake City, Utah

Links:

E-mail Author: reneewattlesbell@comcast.net